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Medal of Holy Crap That Was Some Insane Ish You Pulled That Will Never Be Duplicated!
This award was rarely issued, due to the high standard of excellence and insanity it required a person to achieve. You pretty much had to win a battle by blowing up some ginormous piece of equipment. It was not relevant if you died or lived in the process. Notable Recipients *Luke Skywalker (Battle of Yavin) ''For taking the luckiest shot in the history of warfare, Luke Skywalker gets this medal. He literally killed hundreds of thousands of people in the process, but saved our lives, which is the important thing here. We're still not sure how he did it, but he did. For actions at the Battle of Yavin, Luke Skywalker brings great credit upon himself, his crispy Aunt and Uncle, and whiny mass murderers everywhere. The act of blowing up a Death Star can't possibly happen again, so you're pretty awesome to us. '' *Han Solo (Battle of Yavin) "For the insane accomplishment of flying a piece of junk freighter during the Battle of Yavin, and taking out a trio of TIE Fighters that were about to kill the Alliance's last hope for victory. Flying alone without a co-pilot of any kind that might be deserving of this award, Mr. Han 'I Fly" Solo fired some shots at a few TIEs, and blew one up. The explosion scared the bejesus out of another pilot, who than crashed himself, damaging the lead TIE with Darth Vader inside, causing it to bail out of the chase. This allowed the Alliance the opportunity to blow up the Death Star. Of course, it would have saved everyone a whole lot of hassle if he had actually blown up Mr. Vader's TIE, but we'll take what we can get. Solo's actions (without a co-pilot) bring great credit upon himself, his empty co-pilot seat, scruffy looking nerf-herders, and the Alliance, even though technically, he was a civilian flying alone without a co-pilot." *Arvel Crynyd (Battle of Endor) "For the insane accomplishment of destroying an Imperial Super Star Destroyer using a ship the size of one of the SSD's urinals. Somehow Arvel Crynyd steered his craft into the bridge of the Executor during the Battle of Endor, causing it to crash in to the Death Star 2. It would have been better if the Death Star 2 was destroyed as well, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Anyway, Crynyd's actions brings great credit upon himself, Green Squadron, and all people with no vowels in their last name. We're pretty sorry he's dead, but we're just as glad the Executor is gone. Thanks! *Chewbacca (Mission to Sernpidal) "For the insane accomplishment of saving many lives, and dying in action from being crushed by a moon. Not a small moon, not a space station, but an effin' real moon! Dayum! Chewbacca's actions bring tremendous credit to himself, his species, and the Rebel Alliance. We're real sorry he's dead." Trivia *Despite copiloting the Millenium Falcon during the Battle of Yavin, Chewbacca never got one of these. The closet racist Mon Mothma refused to sign off on the order. Some sources have tried to correct this oversight by the Alliance, but they're wrong. Chewbacca was pissed, and this ate away at him for the entire rest of his life. When he sacrificed himself saving Han's son Anakin, Han overheard Chewie growl "My ass better get a medal for this!" before he was crushed by a moon. The Alliance corrected its earlier misdeed by posthumously awarding Chewbacca one of these. *The Alliance was considered giving Lando Calrissian and Wedge Antilles this award (but not Nien Nunb, because as we said, Mon Mothma was one damn racist bitch). However, they realized that Luke and Han already were given it for basically the same thing. They couldn't issue it again for the same action, based on the title of the award. So they created a new one for them, called the "Medal for Some Insane Ish You Pulled That Was Done Once Before, But You Still Did a Damn Fine Job." Category:Alliance Medals